Showing posts from 2012

goodbye 2012.

Living in the society we do today, we often keep looking forward, wishing for tomorrow, instead of remembering to look back, and reflect that all that has happened and all that we have learnt.
This is no more true than on New Years Eve. We find ourselves making resolutions for the year ahead, wishing for a better, bigger, brighter year. We forget that it brings another aspect, and that is reflection. I too, often fall victim of this. But today, on the last day of 2012, I have decided to take a moment to reflect on the year that was. This year, I learnt more than I have ever learnt before. It’s been eventful, had its ups and downs but I am grateful for every single experience. Long story short, this year I have:
- had my first year out of highschool - started a uni course - dropped out of a uni course - worked 3 jobs - quit 2 jobs - got a promotion to management - celebrated 2 years with my boyfriend - volunteered overseas in Vietnam - travelled to Thailand - been to Queensland - been to Sydney twi…

month of clarity.

The month of July is now underway, and I want to take this month to appreciate all that goes on.  To reflect on the positives, rather than dwell on the negatives.  So, each day, I will record the highlight of my day, something to be positive about. As the days pass and the list grows, I'm sure clarity will be a new element introduced into my day to day life.
July 1st - After a long day at work, I got to spend the night with my amazing boyfriend on a cute and cosy 'date' at the drive-in. July 2nd - Spending the night with my family, including my best friend and boyfriend made me thankful for the incredible people I do have in my life. Seeing my sister and boyfriend laugh together made my night.
July 3rd - A much needed afternoon with my mum and sister completed my day as I had missed going out with them for weekends so much.
July 4th - A surprise visit after work from my boyfriend made my 12 hour working day so much better. Not to mention my favourite chocolate bar he bough…

you know who you are.

When I think of the word ‘love’, all I can think about is you. The concept of loving someone else seems unfathomable, quite frankly, it seems completely out of the picture. Over two years ago now you came into my life. You’d been in my life before, but as more of an extra rather than a lead. But two years ago, at 16 years of age, you took the lead. It’s funny, really, all of a sudden, to me you weren’t that person that I’d kind of known from primary school. You became this intriguing, some may say ‘amazing’ person that I wanted to get to know. As our friendship began to form and we, as much as I hate to admit it, began to flirt, the butterflies I began to feel in my stomach made it evident to me that I would love for it to eventuate to something more. And, after what I can appreciate to be a build up of courage, on that day in June it became exactly that. Unofficial, of course, but ‘seeing each other’ was good enough for me. First date jitters came, as would be expected, but what I did…

miss you?

Who do you turn to when you have nobody to turn to? Lately, I’ve found myself drifting. Trying, trying, trying, but drifting. My friends and I all made a pact before finishing highschool that we would keep in contact and be friends forever, but lately that idea seems to be becoming more and more of a distant memory. I totally get that people have uni to attend, jobs to work and sports to play, but what I don’t get is not having one spare hour to meet up and chat. Or five spare minutes to send a text to see how you are. It does get frustrating, because I sometimes feel as though I am making more of an effort than others. I’m always the one texting ‘Hey haven’t spoken in a while, how are you?’ or inviting ‘Dinner whenever anyone’s free next week?’ and it constantly seems like too much of an effort, like I’m being a hassle to them. I don’t go to uni right now, so I don’t get that interaction with each other that they get. The only person I really get to see from highschool regularly is my…

snapshot of appreciation.

That moment. That clarity. That appreciation. It hit me recently. In life, time is crucial. You don’t get a lot of it, and the time you do get needs to be spent wisely. Surrounded by the people you love, by the people who love you. I’ve learnt that wasting time on things that really don’t deserve all that time and attention is juvenile, it’s unnecessary. I’ve learnt that if someone’s worth your time, then they should also make the effort. But most of all, I’ve learnt to appreciate what I have now. It’s become apparent to me that worrying about the future or being apprehensive is no good. For the most part, I refer to this in regards to relationships. Being scared that you’re going to lose that person and holding back, is what’s going to make you lose them in the end. Being afraid they may harm you, is only harming yourself. Funny, isn’t it? The things we are afraid of them doing are really what we are already doing to ourselves. I watched a movie recently, where the character learnt that…

buckle up and enjoy the ride.

As I’m sitting here today watching the rain drizzle down outside my window, it allows me a brief moment to sit and reflect. A moment to step away from the busy lifestyle we all lead to take some time to ourselves to do some thinking. I can’t help but be symbolic, and see the occasional rainfall likewise to the occasional downfalls I may have in life. They’re there, they’re present for sure, but you have to keep positive and keep remembering that at the end of a storm, comes a rainbow. You won’t always be stuck in a rut, you won’t always be feeling negative or down. Soon enough, the rain will stop, and the storm will end, and you will be graced by some beautiful sunshine. It is these times in life we need to hold onto. I urge everyone to sit and reflect on what it is they are grateful for in life, rather than to dwell on those things that make them feel like they’re the latest star on Days of Our Lives. It’s important to do that now, to take that time out and realize what’s important, …

the greatest risk in life is not taking one.

Confusion takes many forms. You can be confused about what shoes to wear, what to have for lunch, who to go to the movies with; or, you can be like me, and be confused about EVERYTHING. I have always been a very indecisive person, that’s for sure. From a young age, I’ve always umm’ed and ahh’ed about everything, and questioned others ‘I don’t know, what do you think?’. It’s one of my major faults. I struggle to make a decision, sitting and worrying about the possible outcomes of each option. It’s just who I am; basically a worrywart to say the least. But now it seems I’m at a point where it’s not just some insignificant confusion. It’s serious. And the fact that I’m confused just makes me more confused, which, for a person like me is a huuuuge issue. I don’t want to hurt those around me, but at the same time, how do I get out of this confused rut? The only way seems to be to take myself out of these familiar surroundings and let myself be lost. That way I will have to find my way, I wi…

time to find yourself.

Everyone talks about 'finding themselves', questioning 'who they are' or 'what they stand for'. It's a hard concept to grasp and one that I have been trying to ascertain for a good few years now. I remember being fifteen, and discussing with my best friend the lyrics to a Taylor Swift song, 'you just might find who you're supposed to be'. We sat and talked about this concept and I had always had some fascination with it, some interest in taking some time to 'find myself'. Three years on, and I still don't know whether I've found it. As we all begin to grow up, different things start happening, it seems as though it's important to know who you are, what you stand for, your passions, thoughts, morals, everything. And to an extent, I do know. I know that I am a girl with strong values, and I know that I want to do everything I can in life to leave my mark on the world. But as an independent person, how exactly would I define mysel…