that girl.

Please tell me. What do you do when your whole world is falling apart? When you're just getting hit, after hit, after hit. When your family member expresses their hatred for you? When the one person you're in love with does the same? When you've physically got nobody to turn to? Please tell me. What are you meant to do? How can I stop these tears from falling? How can I stop this constant lump in my throat? There's only so long that you can hide behind a smile. My days for that are numbered.

My last post was titled 'Here's to 2014!' which, upon re-opening my blog, blew my mind. Where have 3 years gone? But at the same time, a lot has happened. Let me update you. Basically, since then, I have finished uni, I have gained full time employment as a teacher, I have celebrated 6 and a half years with my boyfriend and I have been on multiple trips. But here I am, still the same old me. A little older, sure. Wiser? You could say that. But at the end of the day, I'm the same curious-minded girl I've always been! You might be wondering why all of a sudden I've come back to writing. The truth is, I never stopped. The 'notes' application on your iPhone is a wonderful thing. But I'm ready now for my thoughts to be out there again. There's a lot going on in my life at the moment. Between navigating the world of full time teaching, maintaining a social life as a 23 year old and hanging onto my relationship for dear life, my mind is constantly...

New Years. The one day of the year that we see an official day of new beginnings, limitless possibilities and countless opportunities. It is a day that we take to reflect on the year that has been, as well as look into what we aspire for the year ahead. I don’t have any of the traditional resolutions, to get fit, get a new job etc, but rather some more philosophically based ones, I suppose. The first, to ensure that I live each moment to the fullest. It is true that you do not realize the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory, so this year I want to soak up each and every moment while it lasts. The second, to be grateful . Seems easy and pretty self-explanatory, but I endeavor to ensure each and every day I recognize my countless blessings; my good health, roof over my head and amazing family and friends. I often fall victim to wishing and wanting things sometimes selfishly considering how lucky I am to have what I have. This year I want to tr...

Forever is a long time. A really, really, really, realllly long time. Like, your whole life. And I’m not sure of much very often. But I am sure of one thing. I want to spend my forever with him. You know those moments where you just know? This is one of them. Something just clicks. Every moment spent with him is great. No matter what we are doing. That’s how I know. Every time he smiles at me my heart flips. That’s how I know.  If it's me and him, nothing else matters. That's how I know. I would do anything to ensure his happiness. That’s how I know. Time not spent with him feels like time wasted. That’s how I know. When I see my future, I can’t see it without him in it. That is how I really know. Forever and always, And that’s a promise.     - xx -   

Living in the society we do today, we often keep looking forward, wishing for tomorrow, instead of remembering to look back, and reflect that all that has happened and all that we have learnt. This is no more true than on New Years Eve. We find ourselves making resolutions for the year ahead, wishing for a better, bigger, brighter year. We forget that it brings another aspect, and that is reflection. I too, often fall victim of this. But today, on the last day of 2012, I have decided to take a moment to reflect on the year that was. This year, I learnt more than I have ever learnt before. It’s been eventful, had its ups and downs but I am grateful for every single experience. Long story short, this year I have: - had my first year out of highschool - started a uni course - dropped out of a uni course - worked 3 jobs - quit 2 jobs - got a promotion to management - celebrated 2 years with my boyfriend - volunteered overseas in Vietnam - travelled to Thailand ...

The month of July is now underway, and I want to take this month to appreciate all that goes on.  To reflect on the positives, rather than dwell on the negatives.  So, each day, I will record the highlight of my day, something to be positive about. As the days pass and the list grows, I'm sure clarity will be a new element introduced into my day to day life. July 1st - After a long day at work, I got to spend the night with my amazing boyfriend on a cute and cosy 'date' at the drive-in. July 2nd - Spending the night with my family, including my best friend and boyfriend made me thankful for the incredible people I do have in my life. Seeing my sister and boyfriend laugh together made my night. July 3rd - A much needed afternoon with my mum and sister completed my day as I had missed going out with them for weekends so much. July 4th - A surprise visit after work from my boyfriend made my 12 hour working day so much better. Not to mention my favourite ch...

When I think of the word ‘love’, all I can think about is you. The concept of loving someone else seems unfathomable, quite frankly, it seems completely out of the picture. Over two years ago now you came into my life. You’d been in my life before, but as more of an extra rather than a lead. But two years ago, at 16 years of age, you took the lead. It’s funny, really, all of a sudden, to me you weren’t that person that I’d kind of known from primary school. You became this intriguing, some may say ‘amazing’ person that I wanted to get to know. As our friendship began to form and we, as much as I hate to admit it, began to flirt, the butterflies I began to feel in my stomach made it evident to me that I would love for it to eventuate to something more. And, after what I can appreciate to be a build up of courage, on that day in June it became exactly that. Unofficial, of course, but ‘seeing each other’ was good enough for me. First date jitters came, as would be expecte...