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High school sweethearts.

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High school sweethearts is a topic that I have found to be personal to me, but one that my opinion has changed of so greatly in recent times. I know that the notion of high school sweethearts is somewhat a topic of dispute, with some believing you can't know if you haven't tried anything else and others believing that when you know, you know. For me, years ago I was in the first category. I was terrified by the fact that I hadn't actually experienced anything else. I thought that because my fiancé and I had only dated one another, we could never work out forever. I believed that we needed to see what else was out there. This did put a fair but of strain on our relationship years ago. Let me tell you now, I am so glad that we pushed through those times. So glad because now my opinion has changed entirely to the latter and I feel so strongly about it. To me now, the notion of high school sweethearts is the most hope-filling, lovely thing I can think of. What's bette

Love.

I think I've finally learnt what it truly means to love. For a while there, I was struggling with whether loving someone in the way I was, was actually just being a pushover. But I don't think it is anymore. I think it's recognising that the love you have for that person is stronger than anything that could ever happen. My fiancé and I have been through so much together; to be honest, probably nearly more than what a lot of relationships will ever go through. This has definitely placed its challenges on us and continues to to this day, but it has also really taught me what genuine love is. I have no doubt that many people would have walked away by now if they were him or if they were me, for many different reasons. Believe me, both of us have been very close to many times. I can only speak on my behalf, but the love I have for him has drawn me back every single time. I honestly cannot express to you how much this guy means to me. How much I know deep down that regardl

30.12.17 - aka greatest day ever.

So, I've sat and stared at this blank page for a considerable amount of time. I honestly don't even know how to put into words how unbelievably happy I am right now. Remember I told you that I was going on a trip to Japan with the love of my life? Well, that trip has now ended, and it was nothing short of amazing. To this very day, I don't think I've ever had a trip where I have felt so at peace with everything, or so undeniably in love. I felt that way the entire first week we were there. And then....... The most incredible, kind-hearted, thoughtful man I have ever met ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM!!! (and of course, I said yes!) The poor thing dealt with my morning moodiness with the early wake up, but it was well worth it. Immediately my heart started beating out of my chest, my hands/legs began to shake and I was just super shocked and overwhelmed with what was happening. It is what I have dreamt about for so long - with him. Before him, I genuinely wanted to be th

SAYONARA 2017

This year has been HUGE. In terms of profession, it is the year I began my career as a graduate teacher. I have never been so tired in my life, but nor have I ever felt so rewarded. I have grown through the year in so many ways and my love for what I do is only going to continue to grow. Through this, I have learnt that hard work and organisation will be rewarded. I have also learnt to be proud of who I am and what I bring, trying to doubt myself much less. In my personal life, I think it has been the hardest year yet. But as it is drawing to a close, I am ecstatic to say that I am coming through the other side. I have learnt this year that communication is absolutely essential. I have also learnt the value of understanding and forgiveness.  I have learnt that through pretty dark times, if you honestly believe that your love for the other is deep, working through it is so worth it. I can guarantee that my love for my partner is deeper and more real than it has ever been - our

Newsflash.

It's been a few months since I have written. Just now, I went back and read through my previous posts from this year. They left me in tears. I felt those emotions that I was feeling at the time all over again. I remembered how painful my year has been. BUT... I have great news! It's what I've been waiting for for so long. Finally, the mutual feelings I've been dreaming of are being reciprocated. He loves me!!!! I have had the most amazing couple of months. Full of spontaneity, laughs, dates, sleepovers and affection. I have felt wanted and loved in a way that I honestly hadn't felt for more than a year. The effort that I have seen from his side has been amazing, and has left me smiling day after day after day. It's all I have ever wanted! BUT... (you're wondering, how could there be another 'but'? Me too) I am so scared. Scared that my hopes are so high right now. Scared that I'm so happy. I'm scared because what am I going to do

The fine line.

There's a fine line between friends and partners. Friends are scheduled in around other plans. Partners' time together is a priority. Friends do not have to necessarily think about the implications of their actions. Partners must think about how their actions affect their loved one.  Friends do not share intimate affection. Partners give each other more than a kiss you'd give your grandma.  Friends can omit information from each other. Partners are open and honest.  If you're a partner, you are supposed to want to spend time with your special person. Partners do not come as a second option if you have no other plans made. Partners do not speak to their loved one as though they are insignificant. Partners do not spend every night in bed alone.  Partners are loyal and they are forgiving. They provide love even in the most trying times. They stick it out through the thick and thin. That's all I'm trying to do, and all I ever have tried to do. 

The waiting game...

Let me introduce you to the latest game I'm playing. It's called 'The Waiting Game'. Basically, I sit and I wait. For him to choose when I am enough, for him to choose when he feels comfortable, for him to choose when I can have girlfriend privileges, basically just for him to choose to treat me right and like I deserve. Does it sound like a fun game to you? Me neither. But, little old me has signed my name up and strapped in for the ride. Let's see if I come out on top - let the games begin.