For all the girls.

We often go through life just plodding along, unaware of how much things change as we go, and it sometimes takes big moments to allow us to reflect on how much has changed, or how much we have changed.

There comes a time when you have to ask yourself when to throw in the towel; when enough really is enough. I've come to that point, I think. The point where I've stepped back and I've seen how much I've changed, and more importantly I've seen what I deserve. With reference to love, that's what can be tough. We love somebody so much, adore them to no end, but what do we do when we recognize what we deserve?

Every girl in this world deserves to be treated by their one and only as though they are the absolute shining star in the universe. Unconditional love, that goes beyond defining it as unconditional because they'll pick them up from places, and rather is unconditional in that no matter what happens, their love is with them. Every girl wants nothing more than a guy who sweeps her off her feet, looks at her with that adoring look in his eyes and reminds her everyday not only that she is beautiful, but that she has a beautiful soul. More often, however, girls seem to stick with guys who think that saying 'I love you' over text each morning is enough, or that ditching them to hang out with friends is acceptable.

I'm not one to judge, because I've fallen victim to this too. A guy who I absolutely adore, for reasons I could never explain, but perhaps the time comes to move on instead of trying to push him to place some value on me. Our mantra needs to be ' I am more than that, I am better than that, and I deserve to be treated that way'. So, do we just keep plodding? Or do we accept that things change, people change? The rest is still unwritten....

Here's to 2014!

New Years. The one day of the year that we see an official day of new beginnings, limitless possibilities and countless opportunities. It is a day that we take to reflect on the year that has been, as well as look into what we aspire for the year ahead. I don’t have any of the traditional resolutions, to get fit, get a new job etc, but rather some more philosophically based ones, I suppose.

The first, to ensure that I live each moment to the fullest. It is true that you do not realize the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory, so this year I want to soak up each and every moment while it lasts.

The second, to be grateful. Seems easy and pretty self-explanatory, but I endeavor to ensure each and every day I recognize my countless blessings; my good health, roof over my head and amazing family and friends. I often fall victim to wishing and wanting things sometimes selfishly considering how lucky I am to have what I have. This year I want to try to completely minimize this.

Next, to not worry about what others think and know my true worth. This is a huge one for me, but I am going to try this year to do what makes me happy and just plain and simply be me, and not worry about what anybody else thinks about it. I aim to ooze confidence this year, with some good self-love and appreciation!

These hopes for the year ahead are especially important to me this year as this year I had my first encounter of death in my family. It demonstrated to me how quickly things can change and how fleetingly things can be taken away from you. I came to realize that life is something precious and that when that day of death does come, I want to be sure that I am proud of the life I lived, and have no regrets. This year, my main goal is to just be  HAPPY. Happy with myself as a person, and happy with the decisions I make. So here’s to 2014, let’s make it a good one!

that's how I know.

Forever is a long time.
A really, really, really, realllly long time.
Like, your whole life.
And I’m not sure of much very often.
But I am sure of one thing.
I want to spend my forever with him.
You know those moments where you just know?
This is one of them.
Something just clicks.
Every moment spent with him is great.
No matter what we are doing.
That’s how I know.
Every time he smiles at me my heart flips.
That’s how I know. 
If it's me and him, nothing else matters.
That's how I know.
I would do anything to ensure his happiness.
That’s how I know.
Time not spent with him feels like time wasted.
That’s how I know.
When I see my future, I can’t see it without him in it.
That is how I really know.
Forever and always,
And that’s a promise.
    - xx - 


goodbye 2012.

Living in the society we do today, we often keep looking forward, wishing for tomorrow, instead of remembering to look back, and reflect that all that has happened and all that we have learnt.
This is no more true than on New Years Eve. We find ourselves making resolutions for the year ahead, wishing for a better, bigger, brighter year. We forget that it brings another aspect, and that is reflection.
I too, often fall victim of this. But today, on the last day of 2012, I have decided to take a moment to reflect on the year that was.
This year, I learnt more than I have ever learnt before. It’s been eventful, had its ups and downs but I am grateful for every single experience.
Long story short, this year I have:

- had my first year out of highschool
- started a uni course
- dropped out of a uni course
- worked 3 jobs
- quit 2 jobs
- got a promotion to management
- celebrated 2 years with my boyfriend
- volunteered overseas in Vietnam
- travelled to Thailand
- been to Queensland
- been to Sydney twice
- figured out what I want to do as a career

I could go on longer, but I’ll spare you the details. The point is, yes, the year starts again, time ticks over, but the year you have just had shouldn’t lose any value.
Take some time to list everything that has happened to you this year, good or bad, and try to tell me that last New Years you had that planned.
The resolutions we make today for the year ahead will be only a tiny speck of what you can expect to come your way. Writing this right now, I know that when I read this back in a years time I will laugh at how I had no idea of what was in store for me this year.
So, this year, my main resolution is to live in the moment as positively as I can. To embrace every opportunity I receive and to spend my year the happiest version of myself I can be.
They say your life flashes before your eyes when you’re nearing your death, but truth is, the past year flashes before your eyes every New Years Eve, so let’s do our best to make sure it’s worth watching.

is it worth it?

Is it worth it? That is the question that I have been asking myself lately when contemplating my attitude to certain topics.
I think all of us are a little guilty of making hasty decisions through clouded judgments, or forming attitudes to things that are mostly driven by partly selfish concepts. It is part of human nature to protect oneself, which explains but does not justify the need for us to put up walls or to give up on things. Understandably, fear of rejection or harsh judgment can cause a person to shut down a little bit, but when questioning ‘Is it worth it?’ some light should hopefully be shed on the matter.
I know myself that recently I have been faced with issues where I have unfairly acted selfishly and bordering on immaturely, but when reflecting on the situation I have had a moment of realization; I realized that it really is not worth it.
The drama, the strain on relationships, the anxiousness, is not worth it at all. Sure, I may feel more comfortable by removing myself from certain situations and trying to justify it to myself, but is it worth the fight it is going to cause or the effort? No. What good is it going to do? Nothing.
So, I’ve decided on a new motto. Well, rather, I’ve listened to a few older mottos and adapted them. YOLO, meh, what doesn’t kill you etc, are my new points of view. And I intend to apply them with my head held high.
With no disrespect intended at all, what I wish I could say to the specific person who has influenced this piece is please grow up, realize that I’m here to stay whether you like it or not and I will not let you bring me down.
I refuse to have something amazing ruined because of my bad attitude, so next time I try to ‘protect myself’, I will be asking myself ‘Is it worth it?’ and thinking twice.  It may be easier said than done, but I am willing to try, and I know I’ll get there, because I’m not losing the best thing that’s ever happened to me.