snapshot of appreciation.


That moment. That clarity. That appreciation.
It hit me recently.
In life, time is crucial. You don’t get a lot of it, and the time you do get needs to be spent wisely. Surrounded by the people you love, by the people who love you. I’ve learnt that wasting time on things that really don’t deserve all that time and attention is juvenile, it’s unnecessary. I’ve learnt that if someone’s worth your time, then they should also make the effort. But most of all, I’ve learnt to appreciate what I have now.
It’s become apparent to me that worrying about the future or being apprehensive is no good. For the most part, I refer to this in regards to relationships.
Being scared that you’re going to lose that person and holding back, is what’s going to make you lose them in the end. Being afraid they may harm you, is only harming yourself. Funny, isn’t it? The things we are afraid of them doing are really what we are already doing to ourselves.
I watched a movie recently, where the character learnt that you need to take life by the arm and run with it. Enjoy what you have now and follow your heart.
I have begun to apply this to my own life. I can recognize the potential now, and I have 100% let my guard down.
As much as I wanted to believe before that it wasn’t up anymore, after almost 22 months, almost 2 years, I finally felt it drop. The shield that I had continued to put up and pin other reasons on was no longer there. No longer will I bring up “do we need a break to see what if?”, no longer will I be uncertain; from here on out I will take it day by day, focusing on the feelings I have now and what my heart tells me now.
In reality, why let something so good pass me by? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the relationship I have. In fact, it’s pretty perfect. And maybe that’s what scared me; the fact that I can not name a flaw, the fact that there’s not a thing I don’t like about the relationship, and the fact that I can truly see myself in this for the rest of my life.
Maybe it was a little too much for me to process. But now, I’m in it. I’m well and truly in it. I’m ready to commit to that, to make an effort, to do everything I can to make it work, to push those fears aside, to keep those undying feelings alive.
He doesn’t make it hard though, let me say that. Most lovable, cute, kind, thoughtful, loyal boy on the planet. He is  what some would refer to as the safe option, yes, but to me he’s also the only option. And right here, right now, today, although only a snapshot of appreciation written, I appreciate all that I have.



Popular posts from this blog

you know who you are.

Image
When I think of the word ‘love’, all I can think about is you. The concept of loving someone else seems unfathomable, quite frankly, it seems completely out of the picture. Over two years ago now you came into my life. You’d been in my life before, but as more of an extra rather than a lead. But two years ago, at 16 years of age, you took the lead. It’s funny, really, all of a sudden, to me you weren’t that person that I’d kind of known from primary school. You became this intriguing, some may say ‘amazing’ person that I wanted to get to know. As our friendship began to form and we, as much as I hate to admit it, began to flirt, the butterflies I began to feel in my stomach made it evident to me that I would love for it to eventuate to something more. And, after what I can appreciate to be a build up of courage, on that day in June it became exactly that. Unofficial, of course, but ‘seeing each other’ was good enough for me. First date jitters came, as would be expecte...
Read more

High school sweethearts.

Image
High school sweethearts is a topic that I have found to be personal to me, but one that my opinion has changed of so greatly in recent times. I know that the notion of high school sweethearts is somewhat a topic of dispute, with some believing you can't know if you haven't tried anything else and others believing that when you know, you know. For me, years ago I was in the first category. I was terrified by the fact that I hadn't actually experienced anything else. I thought that because my fiancé and I had only dated one another, we could never work out forever. I believed that we needed to see what else was out there. This did put a fair but of strain on our relationship years ago. Let me tell you now, I am so glad that we pushed through those times. So glad because now my opinion has changed entirely to the latter and I feel so strongly about it. To me now, the notion of high school sweethearts is the most hope-filling, lovely thing I can think of. What's bette...
Read more

buckle up and enjoy the ride.

Image
As I’m sitting here today watching the rain drizzle down outside my window, it allows me a brief moment to sit and reflect. A moment to step away from the busy lifestyle we all lead to take some time to ourselves to do some thinking. I can’t help but be symbolic, and see the occasional rainfall likewise to the occasional downfalls I may have in life. They’re there, they’re present for sure, but you have to keep positive and keep remembering that at the end of a storm, comes a rainbow. You won’t always be stuck in a rut, you won’t always be feeling negative or down. Soon enough, the rain will stop, and the storm will end, and you will be graced by some beautiful sunshine. It is these times in life we need to hold onto. I urge everyone to sit and reflect on what it is they are grateful for in life, rather than to dwell on those things that make them feel like they’re the latest star on Days of Our Lives. It’s important to do that now, to take that time out and realize what...
Read more