the greatest risk in life is not taking one.

Confusion takes many forms. You can be confused about what shoes to wear, what to have for lunch, who to go to the movies with; or, you can be like me, and be confused about EVERYTHING.

I have always been a very indecisive person, that’s for sure. From a young age, I’ve always umm’ed and ahh’ed about everything, and questioned others ‘I don’t know, what do you think?’. It’s one of my major faults. I struggle to make a decision, sitting and worrying about the possible outcomes of each option. It’s just who I am; basically a worrywart to say the least.

But now it seems I’m at a point where it’s not just some insignificant confusion. It’s serious. And the fact that I’m confused just makes me more confused, which, for a person like me is a huuuuge issue.

I don’t want to hurt those around me, but at the same time, how do I get out of this confused rut? The only way seems to be to take myself out of these familiar surroundings and let myself be lost. That way I will have to find my way, I will have to figure it out.

Growing up does that to people, I think, and this is my time in life to experience that feeling. That feeling of not knowing what’s next, of taking that step toward independence, and most of all, not being confused is one that I crave, and I think now’s the time.

This year I have off from studies is one that I plan to take advantage of.  Not only to make some money, travel, do all that, but also to figure out what I want in life; to grow. I am still only young, and it’s the perfect time to figure myself out.

It scares me to think that trying to ‘fix’ this confusion could have some negative consequences, but I know that I need to take responsibility, be fair to myself and others, and take that risk. Because when all is said and done, the greatest risk in life is not taking one.