It's really hard to accept that somebody doesn't love you anymore. It's hard to be on the receiving end of that, when you still love the person with all your heat and soul.
To not have any control, regardless of what you want or how you feel, absolutely sucks. It leaves you feeling empty. Feeling like there's just no point.
I understand now that that's what it feels like to have your heart broken. I know everyone says it'll pass. But it certainly doesn't feel like it in the moment.
How stupid am I that I whole heartedly still want to make it work? I am genuinely still holding on to some shrivel of hope that he's going to say he realises he could never live without me and loves me to the ends of the earth. But why would he?
He's told me he doesn't see me like that. I guess I can't force him. I guess I just need to accept that I'm not that person for him anymore, even if he still is the one for me.
For now, I'm still waiting, hoping he'll make that move. Desperate old me, I know. Trust me, I hate myself too. But that's what love does to a person.
I am so so broken, just praying he will put my pieces back together.

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